Choosing and Losing Friends | A Guide to Choosing Friends Wisely


Do you want to be more successful? Happier? Motivated? Social? Then surround yourself with people who are. You know that saying, “ you are the company you keep,” well it holds quite a bit of truth. Success, motivation, happiness-it’s all contagious. If you’ve ever felt excited, motivated, competitive (yes, competitive) when a friend talks about a vision, an exciting new venture, an experience or success, then you have gotten a taste of what its like to be moved by the actions or intentions of others. And that’s really good stuff.

By surrounding yourself with the doers and the dreamers, you too will feel the drive to dream big and do more. Not only are we inspired by others, but it is in our nature as human beings to want to keep up, to compete and to do better. Spending time with those whose habits and values move them forward will help you to build similar habits. When you spend time with people, you often pick up on their habits and their values, consciously and unconsciously- You’ll see what its doing for them, and you’ll want it too. The viewpoints and energy of those with whom you spend the most time tend to rub off on you-So think carefully about whose habits you’re willing to adopt.

Create an environment for yourself that will build you up. Select people who believe in you, those who make you feel powerful and encourage you to go after your dreams-those who are just as excited (and if you’re lucky, even more so) than you about who you are and what you do. Befriend someone who can be a coach or a mentor-someone who you look up to, whose work you love-someone who inspires you. Choose, yes, choose, friends that make you the best you.

So what if you’ve changed, but your friends haven’t? Does that mean it’s time to let go? The truth is, relationships change-and they change all the time. If you have moved forward and your friends haven’t, it might be time to let go. How do you know when to move on? Well, if you have relationships that are holding you back from who you want to be or friends who don’t believe in you, don’t motivate you, don’t share in your excitement about your vision, your experiences and your successes; friends who doubt you, those who hurt your self-esteem, or encourage you to remain stagnant, let go. It is far better to be alone than with those who bring you down. You certainly don’t have to have the same vision or successes as your friends, but a similar interest in each other’s wellbeing, success and happiness, is key.

Build yourself a power posse

1. Evaluate friendships: Make sure your friends have your best interest in mind

2. Let go of who and what doesn’t serve you

3. Befriend a coach or mentor

4. BE a coach or a mentor

5. Surround yourself with people who inspire you

6. Choose friends with productive habits and a positive outlook

7. Seek out successful people whose work and lifestyle you love

8. Nurture friendships with people who believe in you

9. Model the type of friendship you would like to have

10. Be the friend you would like others to be

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