I‘m working on my rewrite, that’s right
Gonna change the ending
Throw away the title
And toss it in the trash
-Paul Simon
We don’t always have control of the things that happen to and around us. When things are difficult, when things go wrong, when they don’t go according to plan or when we don’t have control over circumstances, the behaviors of others or outcomes, life (a phase in life, a week or even just one day or moment within a day) can feel overwhelming, frustrating and sometimes hopeless.
Even when things seem completely out of our control, there are, in fact, always ways to stay grounded, hopeful and in control. If ever you’re in a situation that you can’t control or change (which is likely quite often), it’s crucial to remember that even though you can’t control the circumstances themselves, you can control how you respond. And sometimes, when life just seems to push back really, really hard, our response can change how we move through, recover from or even change the outcome of stressors and difficult moments.
The important thing to remember is that no day is “set” to be good or bad. There is opportunity in each moment to choose positivity and happiness or to rewrite or revise the ending of a challenging situation or terrible day. So how can you do that when things keep going wrong, your mood is low, and your brain is foggy?
Let Yourself Feel It
Try not to deny or push away negative feelings or thoughts that show up. Catch your bad mood, pinpoint the problem (or problems), and make a statement of why you’re in a negative space. Let yourself sit with your emotions, because sometimes you just need TIME to be ok.
Practice Deep Breathing
Close your eyes and take calm, deep, equal breaths. This natural, therapeutic technique can reduce stress and calm the nervous system. Take a few moments to breath slowly through your nose and out your mouth to get your physical body back to regulation.
Make a Happy List
Take a moment to be grateful! One of the simplest ways to shift your focus and change your mood is to think about what you’re thankful for. Write down or say out loud at least three things you are grateful for to get some perspective on the day.
Sweat It Out!
Exercise can put you in a better mood. Working out releases endorphins, gives you more energy, boosts your self-esteem, and improves sleep.
Connect
Human contact and connection is a form of therapy! Call or meet up with a good friend or family member that will give you the space to vent and lift you up without trying to solve the problem. This can also be a good time to grab your pet and snuggle if you have one.
Work on a Rewrite
When things are out of your control or when the hits keep on coming, you don’t have to surrender to a terrible outcome or ending. Think of different ways you might turn things around. If you can’t change the situation, can you change how you think or feel about it? Or how you respond? Or maybe what you get out of it? Or even how you might rethink perspective, path or goal around a certain experience.
*Remember that sometimes, even when you implement helpful healthy strategies, a day may continue to be “bad.” It may just feel like you couldn’t win that day. Accepting what is can minimize suffering. If you use all the strategies you’ve got and things just don’t seem to turn around, use positive self talk by reminding yourself; That’s life, and it’s ok, tomorrow will be a new day!
